(Note: This is a really long boring post. I figured I needed to be honest with myself, and please no pity. :) )
I think my journal is starting to dislike me. Not that I usually vent out to its pages, but lately venting is all that I can really do. It isn't harsh or harmful teenage venting that one usually sees in society, nor is it any kind of heart-breaking drama. (I'm counting my blessings here.) Instead, it is me trying to get a grasp on accepting myself for coming in short of expectations. For example:
- My room is in constant need of being clean. No matter how often I clean or re-organize it always ends up looking like I've been robbed.
- I have been unable to meet commitments because I'm meeting other commitments. I've had to work the past 2 times when I've supposed to volunteer at the SMOFA, I feel like a flake.
- I need to get started on my online class, P.E. packets, and summer homework. Except I've been gone most of June and haven't had the time to start...
- I haven't touched my viola in a month. I'm doomed.
- My AP scores and just grades in general
- I haven't accomplished most of my summer to-do list- which is depressing since most of those things that I want to do are fun and relaxing and are what I wanted to get done this summer.
- Keeping in touch with friends- sorry everyone about that.
- Not being able to say what I want to say
- Getting photos of my recent festivities to my Grandma Herdman (I'm working on it!)
- I've only read 4 books this summer. PATHETIC. I work 9 hours a week which isn't a whole lot and I usually just waste it away on pinterest. I need to read more. Much more.
- Filling up my poetry and quotes zine- I'm not even close.
- I didn't even try to start a garden...
- Feeling slightly pitiful and sorry for myself, which I am happy to say doesn't last more than an hour. :)
- I've also been staying up WAY too late for no particular reasons and then I frantically scramble each morning to travel to my volunteering and internship...
- Being late to a babysitting job BECAUSE I was writing this pathetic post. Yep. 10 minutes late.
- Leaving a pot of boiling water on the stove to evaporate and then have an angry mother call to tell you about it.
- Missing my long hair....