Do You Remember?

September.

 Have you ever seen a more gorgeous month? September, to me, ranks higher than summer ever can. Golden and rouge apples, the waves of colors in the trees on the mountains, the lingering breeze in the weather, the nimble crunching of leaves beneath your feet, and my birthday.

 I've always had this fixation with the number 18. Yes, it is my lucky number, and I will be turning 18 on the 18th. It is my lucky birthday year, and I am bound and determined to have a glowing positive attitude this month.

To celebrate another "General Happiness" I am going to do one or more of my favorite things daily until my birthday, and maybe even through the whole month. Sadie Williams who will be 18 on the 25th is also in with this charade and I am ever so grateful for her friendship. I promised that I am going to wear skirts/dresses every day, and eat oatmeal, herbal tea, or wheat bread and butter daily. Sound a bit extreme?

 Completely. I am being a bit conceited and celebrating myself for the next 18 days because I want to look back on what I've accomplished and achieved within the last 18 years and to see what things contributed and are contributing  to the person I am today. 

 I am a firm believer that every person has something they love, whatever it is. I had an experience a few days ago while working with an individual who couldn't think of anything that they were passionate about, or even cared about- at least that they were willing to share. The idea that the things that bring us joy, fill us with longing, or even raise up from our most difficult times doesn't matter, astounds and horrifies me. To think that what you enjoy doesn't matter? Doesn't matter?!

 I am here to say that is does matter. Every random quirky bit of ourselves has a purpose, and has a meaning that sometimes we need to step back and think about. In words of Franz Kafka,

“Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” 

Amen Franz. Amen. 

Though this is an introduction to my journey, I hope you'll tune in to 18 of my favorite things, and get a better understanding of just how mental I am- after all I am a Herdman. 

Captain of My Soul

Lately I have been slightly obsessed with a band whose music is deep, moving, and reflective. I love The Lumineers and I'd like to share their music with you. This last week I had the opportunity to go with a dear friend (Lizzy Ungerman) to St. George as a last quick vacation to figure out what we wanted to accomplish this school year. We both had an experience while driving home that made us ever so grateful for each other and for Heavenly Father who knows what is in store for us. It's alright for us to not know. Don't be afraid of not knowing. You have a whole world out there, filled with the unknown- and isn't it a beautiful thing?

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud

 was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." 

-Anais Nin

 

 

 

 

 

This Corn is Like an Angel...

Update: A while back I posted about Emily Brown, who I absolutely adored. Turns out I also adore this lovely lady.  I first heard her song "Dream it Up" and I was sold. Her music was something that if I didn't tell the world how great her music was, I knew that the music goblins would kidnap me and stick me in their labyrinth- something that I hope to avoid...

For an update on life, I am sad very, very, very, very, very forlorn, doleful, morose, disconsolate, languished, and sorrowful that our California trip got cancelled. If anyone who reads this has a dependable car that is cheap on gas and can play an iPod, we will auction off bids this instant. The next best thing that we can do this weekend is to go down to St. George which isn't exactly the "watch-the-sunrise-on-the-horizon" experience that I was hoping for, but it will be a great experience knowing that I am enjoying the time with friends before life catches up with us and blows us to other places. In words of Dan from Dan in Real Life "Life... is full of disappoints." but I also learned this, "plan to be surprised." 

Rain Clouds and Sunshine

Tomorrow I have the opportunity of attending BYU's annual Suicide Prevention Conference tomorrow from 8:30-4:00pm. I went to last years and I LOVED it! It was really heavy since we were dealing with victims of suicide, post-trauma stress disorders, interviews with suicidal people and depression.
I am really excited to go with a few of my school's HOPE Squad team (a group of peers from your high school who are a reference for people in need to be referred to a counsler or just to be there as a friend), and learn and grow within my self! I just hope that I'll be able to make it through the day. The issues that people face are real hard life circumstances. I believe it's important that we all should understand why someone might be depressed and how to help them out. What a fun day of some emotional rain clouds and sunshine I'll have tomorrow! Let's DO it!