Smoke filled the spaces,
on our skin, in our hearts.
Sorrow crept at the cracks
of our tears gathering.
Nearer came the train
to bring us apart
once again.
I wrote this snippet of poetry on January 21st, in honor of WW1 soldiers leaving their loved-ones. I usually get these urges to write- but time and the bustling of life usually gets in the way. Actually, I just don't make time for it. I am trying to improve and I have a few more ideas for some poems and I am really excited to test them out. I would love your feedback on this little bit! (I feel like it's a bit bland...) I apologize for this short entry, I'll recap soon!
on our skin, in our hearts.
Sorrow crept at the cracks
of our tears gathering.
Nearer came the train
to bring us apart
once again.
I wrote this snippet of poetry on January 21st, in honor of WW1 soldiers leaving their loved-ones. I usually get these urges to write- but time and the bustling of life usually gets in the way. Actually, I just don't make time for it. I am trying to improve and I have a few more ideas for some poems and I am really excited to test them out. I would love your feedback on this little bit! (I feel like it's a bit bland...) I apologize for this short entry, I'll recap soon!
Holy cow, that's totally awesome -- and I'm not just saying that. I thought it was something written by B.C. (your current favorite poet) but I'm totally impressed that you wrote it! It's amazing! I hope to see more. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Willie for making me blush! (literally. :) ) I value your comments so much! I'll let you know when I have more coming out.
ReplyDeleteLet me know almost as soon as her. Good poetry is hard to find.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bourne! I will for sure! Have you checked out Billy Collins? He is a humorous poet that is pretty darn smashing.
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ReplyDeleteKelsey, I love it! Very nice. It's not much but: http://english.drewctate.com/a-sonnet-of-my-own
DeleteAndrew I think you're being far too modest. Your poem is amazing! I love the line "We, more than they do see." For me, that line shows us that we can learn a lot about life from history if we take the time to know its people and circumstances. Learning about their lives, hardships, and triumphs is one of the greatest joys here on Earth, at least for me. By knowing their stories we can look back in time and see just how far we've come. Thanks for sharing Andrew! Do you have any more marvels?
DeleteKelsey, you have found deep meaning in my sonnet! That's awesome and unexpected. As for more marvels, I am Andrew Tate, but I could also ask the same question of you!
ReplyDeleteOh my, it is a good thing we're friends then! I get the writing twitch rarely and when I do, I seldom act on it. I'm hoping to break out of that habit and set aside time to write about the various things in my head. Who knows what will come from it?!
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