Oh, I'm in Love

Today finally felt like summer. Sleeping in, morning scripture study, bowl of Kellog's Krave, late shower, errand run with a friend, finishing touches of a clean room, painting a mirror, trying to darn holes in favorite cardigans, sewing lavender pouches, planning projects to sew hems, book club planning, Harry Potter debating, dreaming of a lavender or mint green-grey-white wedding, quesadilla making, spaghetti eating, no make-up, hair undone, new shoe wearing, purchasing a adorable skirt, and a darling dress, leaving the bedroom window open, journal entry catch-uping, reading, dreaming of a future home, and writing in the thunder. Now that's what I call summer.

My dream house...

I bought 3 of these picture frames. It fits my painting nicely!

The whole in my mint green cardigan that I tried to darn... darn those holes!

Spray painted mirror... check!

To be sewn on this skirt

My dress that I can't wait to wear!

I'm putting up 3 more shelves to replace my bookcase hutch above my desk. I'll be add to more books!

Sorry about the lighting... but this is my new dress I ordered.

My new skirt coming soon...gosh. I love dresses and skirts. (This one cost me a whole $12.48. No tax. No shipping charge!)

I color-coded my books!

Love that figure. Oh, I did find my Inheritance book... it is to the left. :)

Can't wait to put up my new shelves...

The sad pile of books awaiting a home. Everywhere else is full.

Getting ready to stuff

Finished!

What it looked like before...

Bliss

                  Yep. Looks like this is going to be a good week.

Green Things

If you haven't heard of Emily Brown, you might as well not waste anytime reading this post. Click on her name! Her music is stunning (plus she uses an accordion), and has brought me much comfort over the past year. Here is her new album which I would say would be her best yet! Good luck on your mission Emily and continue to uplift everyone around! You are a remarkable individual and thank you for comforting my heart.

I'm Digging a Pit

 (Note: This is a really long boring post. I figured I needed to be honest with myself, and please no pity. :) ) 

I think my journal is starting to dislike me. Not that I usually vent out to its pages, but lately venting is all that I can really do. It isn't harsh or harmful teenage venting that one usually sees in society, nor is it any kind of heart-breaking drama. (I'm counting my blessings here.)  Instead, it is me trying to get a grasp on accepting myself for coming in short of expectations. For example:

•  My room is in constant need of being clean. No matter how often I clean or re-organize it always ends up looking like I've been robbed. 
• I have been unable to meet commitments because I'm meeting other commitments. I've had to work the past 2 times when I've supposed to volunteer at the SMOFA, I feel like a flake.
• I need to get started on my online class, P.E. packets, and summer homework. Except I've been gone most of June and haven't had the time to start...
• I haven't touched my viola in a month. I'm doomed.
• My AP scores and just grades in general
• I haven't accomplished most of my summer to-do list- which is depressing since most of those things that I want to do are fun and relaxing and are what I wanted to get done this summer.
• Keeping in touch with friends- sorry everyone about that.
• Not being able to say what I want to say
• Getting photos of my recent festivities to my Grandma Herdman (I'm working on it!)
• I've only read 4 books this summer. PATHETIC. I work 9 hours a week which isn't a whole lot and I usually just waste it away on pinterest. I need to read more. Much more.
• Filling up my poetry and quotes zine- I'm not even close.
• I didn't even try to start a garden...
• Feeling slightly pitiful and sorry for myself, which I am happy to say doesn't last more than an hour. :) 
• I've also been staying up WAY too late for no particular reasons and then I frantically scramble each morning to travel to my volunteering and internship...   
• Being late to a babysitting job BECAUSE I was writing this pathetic post. Yep. 10 minutes late.
• Leaving a pot of boiling water on the stove to evaporate and then have an angry mother call to tell you about it.
• Missing my long hair....

 I should also add to that list that I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, and trying to be optimistic about my AP scores and schedule for next year. For a more positive note I am finally caught up on paying tithing! I feel like such a champ. In psychology we learned that when we plan for future events like summer for instance, we think we'll have more free time so we plan to do things in that free time. Once we actually get to summer we find that we are just as busy in the school year because we planned to do too many things. Some days I wish my pre-frontal cortex was developed and I could reason with my time better. My English teacher, Mrs. Van Orden, said earlier this year that when she was my age she kept thinking about how much free time she would have as an adult. Once she got there she was disappointed that she was more busy than when she was in High School. In a sense I am looking forward to being busy like I am now, in the future. At least I won't be bored. If you've read this far I congratulate you, and if you're still reading this a month after I post this, remind me to delete it- unless I decide to dig a pit and stick myself in it. 

That Kind Of Day

Agenda

Well, I did it. I made another blog showcasing a few of my photos that I've taken over the past few years. I hope that you check it out! It might be cheesy since with every photo I include a quote of some-sort to it. I hope that you'll seek inspiration not only through the photos that you, yourself have taken, but also through the written word. Enjoy!

 - The Littlest Herdman

What Evokes Each of Us

A few weeks previous, I had a discussion with two dear friends of mine, about what makes us look at life the way we do. For me, the greater part of what influences my life is my religion, and the second part resides in the sadness and trials of life. If you ask me what my favorite books, music, or movies are, I would most likely give you a detailed list of things that are- to a worldly standard: sad. I sometimes mock and call myself a "walking oxymoron" because (I hope I can say this) I am generally a happy person. Yet, I love sad things. Not to be mistaken with loving the sad thing, or loving that the sad thing happens- I love the symbolism, the values, the test of faith, the wisdom, and the richness that I learn and feel from the life of another. It allows me to learn and to remember their sacrifice as I come to find my place within this world. 

 I stumbled across this quote by Franz Kafka back last May that at least for me illustrates why I am drawn to such things.

  "I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us...We need the books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone...A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside ourselves."

My favorite topics to learn about are WW1, human trafficking, human rights violations, genocides, global wars, revolutions, and WW2. However I am still unable to face things like the Holocaust. I am not sure if I will ever be able to. There isn't much I can take on that topic. The Boy in the Stripe Pajamas, and  Night by Elie Wiesel are two things I can't face. I believe that these experiences of any topic don't have to be for everyone. Each of us are evoked by something that inspires to change and to live for something. For one person I know, they are driven by music and the expression and emotions, both the joy and the deep gloom it can impact. For another, they are driven by the happy things in life, and the force behind laughter. We don't all have to bury ourselves in the valley of sorrow like Kafka said to break open our frozen desires inside us. All we need to do is to surround ourselves with the things that evoke our spirits, and trust in the guiding force behind us to take us where we need to go. 

Poppies- my favorite flower and in honor of WW1

What officially brought this train of thought to my mind was a movie that I just finished about a WW1 fiction story. Really, who lets me watch WW1 movies right before bedtime on a Saturday night? The buckets of tears flowed. I should be banned.